Got No Book-Learnin'. (But I still know what I am doing!)

I'm a novice decorator - no formal training, no book-learnin'. What I do know is what I like and what makes me feel happy in my home. I have five philosophies that I follow:

1. Do you like it because it is beautiful or makes you laugh? Then buy it. (Or marry it as the joke goes...)
2. Mix high quality (re: expensive for you) with affordable decor. (Think thrift stores, found objects.)

Silver vase and pedestal,
foraged nest and handmade paper flowers.
And jelly beans, of course.

3. Break down your living and garden spaces to reflect the breadth of a casual glance, aka create a vignette. This helps you focus your attention and not get overwhelmed by the vastness of it all.
4. Pick a few key colors to blend the overall spaces of your home and garden. Love pink and mahogany? Add something pink and mahogany-ish  to all of the vignettes identified in #3. You will be amazed at how this brings it all together.
5. Finally, be prepared to say goodbye to objects (and favorite colors. Remember "harvest gold" of the 70's?) because they are just objects/colors after all. Your taste is allowed (encouraged) to change.

Notice the color similarities
between my home and garden? 

So, you now possess all of the grandiose philosophies that I use when decorating and curating my decor, both in my home and in my garden. It's not rocket science and any mistakes can be sent out to pasture (or the rec room). Don't be afraid of decorating your own life and garden. What you like is unique to you, as it should be. Your home and your garden are a reflection of you and how you like to live, what shapes and colors you like to see, what things make you say "ooooooh" and "awwwww" when you first seen them in a store, a craft show, or during a walk in the woods.

Take a quick moment and jot down notes to these simple questions:
1. What are your three favorite colors?
1a. Does your home/garden reflect those colors?
2. What shapes do you like (round, oblong, square, curvy)?
2a. Do you have objects that embody those shapes in every room or vignette?
Bonus Round: Are there things in your house/garden that make you laugh? (Please say "yes".)

That's it. That's all it takes to develop a sense of personal taste and style in your home. Be patient and add things over time, curating (i.e. throwing away or moving) as you go along. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither should your home be the matchy-matchy nightmare of the 80's.

Happy hunting!

Stacey

To Fall in Love Again

I love social media. Everything about Facebook and Twitter and Instagram feeds a little beast within me that wants instant feedback, continued connection, and gratuitous rewards. (I'm old. Snapchat and anything "modern" makes my head hurt.) That little hit of seratonin that zings through my brain whenever someone likes a post or retweets my profound comments (about the Kardashians) is sometimes all the drug I need in a day.

(I'm lying about the only drug I need. I groove on kid snuggles, coffee, candy, and butter. Those might all qualify as a drug given that I crave them.)

Which brings me to this: social media exposes me --- all of us -- to amazing ideas and information that would otherwise never cross my path. When this amazing New York Times post crossed my Facebook feed, I immediately clicked the link and proceeded to read* the article. I actually can't guarantee "To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This" is amazing --- yet --- but I fully intend to fall in love (again) with my husband by asking the 36 questions that made up this study. Hell - I didn't even READ the whole post before I decided that this was our next date night extravaganza. Because you know what? We're parents with jobs and mortgages and car payments and lawns and decrepit cars - we've put each other on the back burner long enough. 

And it's time for YOU to give a damn too - about your relationship, your life, your career, you. I think these questions allow us to plumb the untidy crevasses of our psyche and reconnect with our centers. Not only do we take the time to find out someone else's answers to these questions (if we have a partner), but perhaps more importantly we have to consider our answers to the questions as well.

THE 36 QUESTIONS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ANYONE (AGAIN)

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Rhett Butler: Bringing sexy back since 1939.

So - I kind of dare you to do the same. Because if you can't love your lover, how can you love your life? These questions are pivotal to YOU and who YOU are - whether it is in your relationship, in your work, or in your life. Got no lover? Then just answer these questions for yourself. Take the time to fall in love with you again - your strengths, your flaws, your passion, and your quirks.

And --- lucky you --- I've helped you plan your next date night or journal entry (or 3)!

Stacey

P.S. #30. I cried in front of my mother on Thursday when I was popped with a hella expensive speeding ticket in Everett, WA. I felt sorry for myself for 30 minutes at a Starbucks (#firstworldproblems), then recovered enough to have an amazing day complete with jokes about said ticket.

P.P.S. There is the study requirement that says you need to stare into the eyes of your intended beloved for 4 minutes. (Or at least I think it says that since, as I mentioned (confessed), I only skimmed the article and don't actually have a real grasp on what I am getting us into.) Seems creepy, but what the heck. Give it a whirl. But blink. Remember to blink. That's allowed. (I think.) *** No intended beloved? Go find a mirror. Stare yourself down. Know who you are.

* Alright, alright, alright already. I STILL have not read the whole article. I just got so excited about the prospect that my brain fritzed and I needed to write this blog post. I promise** to read it before actually attempting the whioe fall-in-love-with-anyone (again) thing.

** Don't believe me. I am a notorious headline-reader.